


Finding Home

by Kaein88



Category: The 100 (TV)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Student/Teacher, F/F, Foster Kid Lexa (The 100), Minor Anya/Raven Reyes, Minor Relationships, Personal Growth, Slow Burn, Teacher Clarke Griffin, relationship building, will update tags as I go
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2021-03-16
Updated: 2021-03-24
Packaged: 2021-03-24 22:27:14
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 9
Words: 19,419
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/30079266
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Kaein88/pseuds/Kaein88
Summary: How was she liking it so far? Lexa didn’t know. Very rarely did she ever feel happy or enthusiastic about anything. The concept of liking something was foriegn to her. Lexa was accepting. Accepting was very, very different from liking.“It’s too soon to tell. It’s only my first day.” She pointed out-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------Being a foster kid, changes your priorities. It mutes your appreciation for social needs. After Lexa is placed in a new foster home she must learn to overcome her lack of interpersonal skills and navigate the enigma of Clarke Griffin. By far the most childlike and unorthodox teacher she's ever seen.
Relationships: Clarke Griffin/Lexa
Comments: 108
Kudos: 128





	1. You Can Call Me Clarke

**Author's Note:**

> Please forgive any errors about the content of the "classroom" education. I'm by no means an English expert or knowledgeable in the art of teaching.

Lexa entered the school gates. She wasn’t nervous, or self conscious. She was accepting of the stares a new student received on their first day. She didn’t feel out of place in her two sizes too big shirt or in her shorts which required her to tie the drawstring tightly enough that the short band didn’t sit smoothly on her waist. Nor did she feel uncomfortable with her messy loose ponytail. She could tell without making eye contact with her fellow students that she was already the odd one out. But her care factor in regards to fitting in and looking to make friends was zero. Such is the life of a foster kid.

She found a seat to park in and pulled out a book to read Terry Goodkind - The Wizards First Rule. It was one of her favourites, and she most definitely agreed with the book’s philosophy “ _People are stupid; given the proper motivation, almost anyone will believe almost anything. Because people are stupid, they will believe a lie because they want it to believe it’s true, or because they are afraid it might be true.”_ Having learned the quote the hard way through experience. She sighed, only having read a couple of pages, putting away the book as the school bell rang signalling the start of the next six and a half hours of boredom.

She mentally berated herself for stupidly choosing to read a book, as she wandered the halls lost as she searched for her classroom. She was late and while she knew she would always be the odd one out, that didn’t necessarily mean she _wanted_ to stand out from the crowd or attract attention. In fact, if Lexa had her way she would live in her own corner of the world by herself where she didn’t have to deal with people and the nuances that came with it. She was safe in her solitary.

When Lexa eventually found her classroom, she knocked on the door before letting herself in. Her eyes landed on the teacher whose desk was the first thing one saw as they entered the room. She was dressed in light blue and white sneakers, dark blue khaki pants that seemed more practical rather than fashionable, and a white collared polo shirt. If she hadn’t been sitting at the teachers desk Lexa might have believed this woman was an older student for how casually dressed she was. Sky blue eyes framed by just above the shoulder locks of blonde hair met her own. 

“You must be Lexa Woods.” Her husky voice asserted. It was not a question. Lexa nodded regardless. The teacher gestured to the students and desks in front of her. “Welcome, you can call me Clarke. Please take a seat, anywhere is fine.”

Lexa turned to look at what was available, her eyes zooming immediately towards the back row. The far back right corner desk was the only one free. She made a beeline for it. She pulled out a blank notebook and looked ahead as Clarke stood up and began speaking. Tuning the content of the teacher's words out, Lexa scrutinised this woman. Usually Lexa wouldn’t give another person let alone a teacher a second thought. However, within less than two minutes of meeting her new teacher, she was off center by how casual and familiar she appeared from her choice in clothing to introducing herself by her first name. Lexa could tell right off the bat that this class would not be so monotone and boring as she’s used to.

She slowly took in the classroom. Taking it in for the first time. Her assumption about this not being a standard class being confirmed as she took in a couple of tall large cabinets on the left side of the wall, covering the windows to the outside world. She noticed the space between the cabinets and the desks was quite large, and that the teacher’s desk was pushed up against the left wall at the front of the room with the whiteboard off center more towards the teachers desk on the wall. What seemed the most strange thing Lexa observed was that no other student had a textbook out, only their notebooks. Isn’t this supposed to be an English class?

Lexa had been so lost in her own thoughts and confusion that when the low sound of heavy rock music starting to play, made her jump slightly and look for the source of the sound. The offending noise was playing from a portable bluetooth speaker on the teachers desk. The students were silent. Lexa wished she had paid attention to what Clarke had said since now she was clueless to what was going on. The vocals to the song were growled but coherent. The harsh sound of guitar rifts and heavy percussion oddly soothed her.

When the song finished playing. Clarke reached over to her phone. Straightening up, the teacher addressed the class again. “English, the primary language that this country uses to speak and write. What is your definition of English?” The blonde paused, waiting for a volunteer to express their opinion. It came in the form of a dark brunette who wore a red jacket over a pair of jeans. “Too hard to know the two differences between geese and goose or your monkeys and you’re a monkey.” The class snickered.

Lexa mentally nicknamed her Sassy Brunette. She expected Clarke to gently reprimand the girl for her cheek. Instead the woman smirked mischievously as her eyes roamed across all the students, before she reached into her desk drawer and pulled out a banana and tossing it at the girl saying “A banana for our resident monkey.” who without missing a beat began to peel and eat it. The blonde paused for a second or two before continuing “As Ms Raven Reyes has so cleverly pointed out, English can be grammar, vocabulary and syntax.”

Clarke had Lexa’s undivided attention now. Her style of teaching was relaxed, unconventional and yet engaging. So different from the usual ‘ _Please turn to page blah blah blah and review it._ ’ A student wearing goggles on his head raised his hand, and Clarke nodded her head at him. “Clarke, can you play music again. You have good taste!” His hand forming the features of the heavy metal symbol.

The blonde let out a hearty laugh. “Mr Jasper Jordan. Believe it or not I didn’t play music to drown out the teenage angst that stifles this classroom.” The class chuckled at her. “English like any and all languages is nothing but a form of communication with it’s own grammar vocabulary and…?” The class as a whole finished the rest of the sentence “Syntax.”

Clarke had a playful tilt on her lips. “Does anyone know what communication is?” A different student answered, and the blonde woman responded “Mhmm, a message that is sent from the sender to the message that is received to the receiver. Which to point out the obvious is the reason for language.” The woman looked at her watch on her right hand. Lexa made a note Clarke was left handed. “Your assignment due at the end of the week is the different forms of communication and the variables that affect the intended message in relation to the interpreted message that is received.” Lexa wrote down her assignment as the bell signalling the end of the class rang out. 

As Lexa left the class room and walked down the hall, she thought to herself ‘ _Well, that was certainly different._ ‘ A girl's laughter rang through her ears and an amused voice replied “She certainly is different.” Lexa hadn’t meant to voice her thought aloud, but it was something she did frequently. She turned to find a curly light haired brunette smiling at her and Lexa shifted from foot to foot awkwardly. “Don’t worry, everyone loves Clarke. It’s nice to be treated like a person instead of just another statistic. I’m Costia by the way.” She took an offered hand, shaking it and simply said, “Lexa.” 

After such an unexpected and lively class, Lexa’s next class was downright sleep inducing if it weren’t for the quiet sniggering from other students. With her being the hot topic of course. _Look at what she’s wearing. She looks so ratty._ Or _Steer clear of this one, she looks like she has issues._ She felt something hit the back of her head. She internally groaned but gave no outward response. That’s what they wanted - a reaction. _Dude, what did you do that for? I bet she could kick your ass!_ Lexa could not describe the relief she felt when the lunch bell rang. It’s not that she cared about the things the other students had said or the attempts at taunting her. She just wanted to escape the world even if it were for a brief period of time.

She wandered around the school grounds looking for a secluded area preferably outside. She had no such luck and found herself in the school library. She asked the librarian for the direction of the study rooms and thanked her before heading off to where they were pointed at. Opening the only study room door that didn’t have the sign occupied showing, Lexa arched a brow at the sight of Clarke spread out on her back on a bean bag apparently taking a nap. Just what sort of teacher was this woman? Was that even allowed?

She exhaled a long breath. It was irrelevant she supposed. She was not going to find her solace in any of the study rooms and chose the closest table to the door. After all, she’s wasted enough of her lunch hour. She had a book she wanted to read. Putting in her ear buds, she pulled out her phone and turned on the music, and opened her book. Finally, her escape.

Her relief transformed to startlement when a hand was placed on her shoulder unexpectedly. She spun her head around to look at the offending person who almost made her crap her pants. Lexa was met with Costia’s timid smile. Behind her stood Sassy Brunette, and another girl with dark blonde hair she hasn’t had the ‘pleasure’ of meeting yet. “I’m sorry for scaring you.” Costia started, “This is Raven and Anya.” Raven flashed a charming smile, while Anya gave a small wave accompanied by a scowl that sent mixed signals to Lexa.

“Hi.” Was all she said in response. She didn’t know why they were here or why they were even talking to her. She waited patiently to find out.

Raven grinned slapping Costia on the back. “Wow Cos, you really weren’t kidding when you said amazing green eyes here wasn’t a big talker’” 

Costia flushed a brilliant shade of red, and Anya with the same scowl on her face, obviously wanting to save the other girl from further mortification said “What big mouth here means, is that Costia wanted to see if you wanted to sit with us?”

Lexa didn’t know which to be astounded by more. The fact that Anya could be so nice, while holding a ‘piss off or i’ll punch you’ expression or the fact the trio wanted to invite her to their group. In her contemplation, Costia shifted from foot to foot nervously drawing Lexa’s attention to her. She decided to put the girl out of her misery and plastered on what hopefully looked like a genuine smile and nodded “Sure.” She said, and the trio plopped into the seats surrounding her table.

Turning her phone off and putting her earbuds and book away a loud breath was heard, causing Lexa to turn to its source. Clarke was now stretching showing some of the smooth skin of her waist before rolling onto her side. Lexa looked at the three girls in front of her. “Is she always like that?”

“Clarke is freaking awesome dude.” Raven said and then lowered her voice to almost a whisper “You’ll be hard pressed to find a student who doesn’t love her, or her…” She gestured to her breasts. Anya punched her arm in response but didn’t say anything and Costia giggled at Raven’s antics.

“She let you call her and everyone else in the class a monkey.” Lexa said blandly still not believing the balls this girl had, or the blonde leniency for it. Costia’s jaw opened, and Anya’s scowl morphed into a slight smirk.

The red jacket girl laughed “Yeah, that was awesome too. She believes kids will respond better if she engages them on their level. So unless we do something to intentionally offend or upset someone she goes with the flow. Besides, I got a free banana out of it.”

Maybe Lexa’s eyes were deceiving her, but she swore Anya’s eyes softened slightly as the dark blonde retorted “You are a banana.” Raven just batted her eyes at Anya.

“So did you change schools or did you move here?” Costia asked her. Lexa shifted uncomfortably, she didn’t feel comfortable talking about herself or the fact she was in foster care, but she didn’t want to lie or be rude. She settled with “I changed schools. Transportation is easier.” Lexa translation: The walk a much shorter distance.

“How are you liking it so far?” Costia fired the next question. How _was_ she liking it so far? Lexa didn’t know. Very rarely did she ever feel happy or enthusiastic about anything. The concept of liking something was foriegn to her. Lexa was _accepting_. Accepting was very, very different from liking. 

“It’s too soon to tell. It’s only my first day.” She pointed out, deflecting from having to analyse her emotions.

Raven rolled her eyes and said probably more loudly than she intended “Girl! You need to loosen up. Getting you to talk is like pulling teeth!”

“Girls,” an amused husky voice interrupted the trio. “I hope you’re not scaring the new student away.” Lexa looked to see the twinkling blue eyes of Clarke looking into her own. The blonde continued, shifting her gaze to fondly look at the other girls. “Lexa, don’t let the trio of terror scare you. 

“We would never!” Raven exclaimed indignantly. Clarke chuckled, “Just like you would _never_ call me a monkey right?”

Costia laughed, inserting “Recording or it never happened!”

“Clarke!” A new voice called out coming from a woman with dark hair and green eyes. “I’ve been looking all over for you! Please don’t tell me you decided to take a nap again.”

The blonde flashed the unknown woman a brilliant smile and mimicked Raven’s words. “O, I would never!” 

Costia leaned closer to Lexa and whispered “That’s Clarke’s best friend, Ms Blake. She teaches PE, and Mr Blake is her brother, he teaches history.”

The woman now known as Ms Blake, was undoubtedly familiar with Clarke’s antics as she rolled her eyes snapping “We’re late!” and grabbed the blonde’s upper arm dragging her off with Clarke calling out a quick “Bye girls! Be good!”

Lexa sat stunned. What the hell just happened. Anya with her scowl firmly back in place shrugged it off saying “You’ll get used to it. They’re always like that. What classes do you have next?”

Lexa pulled out her timetable. “Double free period. I think I’ll just go home.” Going ‘home’ sounded very desirable. There was way too much excitement and energy around for her. She was tired already.

They said their goodbyes with Costia adding quietly “Don’t be a stranger.” Lexa stopped by the office to sign herself out after the admin confirmed she did in fact have a double study period before heading home. She tightened the drawstrings of her oversized shorts before putting in her ear buds to listen to some music for the walk home.

When she got home, her foster mother Indra was sipping on a cup of tea reading the paper. She looked up and asked “How was school?” Lexa took her shoes off as she said “It was fine.”

“Just fine?” Indra prompted. 

“Yes. The kids seemed nice. The teachers are nice.” Nice was such a polite word. Nice meant that there was nothing occurring to upset someone. It didn’t necessarily reflect whether or not one liked the subject. “I have an assignment due at the end of the week.” she said as she made her way to her bedroom. She heard Indra sigh as she closed her door.

As a foster kid Lexa had been rather lucky. She knows there’s a stereo type of ‘foster kids are abused all the time’. She supposed there were reasons for that belief. Though none she had experienced herself. The worst thing she’s experienced was the number of inconsistent placements she had. Indra is supposed to be her carer until she’s of legal adult age. But Lexa didn’t expect to last that long here. She never has before so why would this be any different?

She pulled out the assignment Clarke had given, and it only just occurred to her how much depth and insight this assignment actually required. So different from the lady who designated it, who came across as rather unorthodox, carefree and playful for a teacher.

She better get to work. The sooner she finished it. The sooner she could look forward to more reading and music time.


	2. Invitation VS Isolation

Keeping her eyes closed, Lexa rolled over and turned off the offending noise that was her alarm clock and rolled over onto her back. It was time to get up for school. That meant she first had to get dressed and face Indra for breakfast. Mentally sighing, she got out of bed and began to get dressed. Throwing on a sports bra over a loose fitting tank top and a another pair of shorts that were again too big for her. Lexa left the sanctuary of her bedroom. Indra was in her usual spot, and as habitual raised her eyes from what she was reading and greeted “Good morning Lexa.”

Indra appeared to be nice. There was that polite word again.  _ Nice. _ She was a darker woman with short black extremely curly hair and had a permanent shrewdness that showed through in her dark eyes. She worked night shifts as a security guard, but always made sure to stay up to see Lexa eat breakfast before tucking in to bed. Indra had tried to convince Lexa to go clothes shopping with her, but Lexa stubbornly refused, she hadn’t explained that she didn’t want to feel indebted to the woman. Especially if this were only going to be a temporary arrangement.

“Good morning.” She greeted back. Indra’s eyes roamed over Lexa’s form. Her eyes softened for a second before she gestured to the bowl of fruit salad on the table. “Eat.” She commanded gently. Lexa moved to do as she was asked when Indra cleared her throat, “Do you want a ride to school before I go to bed?”

Lexa kept her eyes on her fruit bowl. “No, thank you.”

“Would it be easier for you if we got you a bike?” The darker woman asked.

Lexa lifted her eyes to meet Indra’s. There was an expression in them she couldn’t decipher. “No, I’m fine. Thanks though.” She said. 

Indra nodded, moving to stand she took her coffee cup to the kitchen sink. “I hope you have a good day at school.” Lexa didn’t think she would have a good or bad day at school. It would be whatever it would be. She had no expectations. She finished her breakfast and headed out the door.

Lexa Woods did not like to repeat her mistakes. So this time she located where her history class was. It turned out to be on the opposite side of Clarke’s class. She saw through the window in the door that the blonde was leaning over her desk, writing some notes on paper. 

A dark shaggy haired man broke her line of sight and opened said door. “Bell! Learn to knock would you?!” The blondes raspy voice exclaimed. The man gave a soft laugh, “Sorry Princess. I thought I would show my self preservation skills by delivering you coffee.” As he moved towards her, Clarke spotted Lexa and called “Come in!”

Lexa didn’t want to come in. Lexa certainly didn’t want to be the center of attention. She didn’t like the energy of large crowds. But being in a larger crowd, the less likely she was to be called out like this. She went in anyway.

The man’s dark eyes looked at her and a welcoming smile was on his lips. Clarke had a bright smile that made the man's own one seem non-existent in comparison. Today, Clarke was wearing a tie dyed shirt, a black unbuttoned cardigan, long flowing reddish brown pants and some sandals that almost made her look like a hippy. “Good morning! Ms Lexa Woods, this is Mr Blake, our history geek.” Causing him to scoff. “Ms Woods is a new student here and has already made friends with the T.T.T.” She informed him. 

The confusion and awkwardness Lexa felt must have shone through because Mr Blake placed a hand on her shoulder in what she guessed was supposed to be a comforting manner, saying “Costia, Anya and Raven. The Terrible Trio of Terror. Not sure why you classify Costia as a terror? I swear Clarke, you need to learn some professionalism.” 

Lexa didn’t reply, instead opting to shift her weight, causing the man to remove his hand and the blonde refused to acknowledge the question with a response, choosing to give him a light push towards the door saying “Don’t you have a class starting in like ten minutes that you need to prepare for? Thanks for the coffee!” 

When the man left, Lexa averted her eyes to the floor, as she was overcome with a sense of being constricted. “How did you find yesterday?” Clarke asked her. Lexa’s anxiety heightened the longer she was left alone with this woman's undivided attention. She was getting frustrated. Lexa didn’t know why she was feeling overwhelmed. She shivered in response, and felt warmth envelope her as Clarke obviously mistook her shivering for being cold, and had removed her cardigan and placing it over her shoulders. “Hey there Green-Eyes,” The teacher's husky voice said to her. “Are you alright?”

She needed to leave. “Costia and her friends are nice.” She answered, so she didn’t appear to be rude.  _ Nice. _ She supposed they were nice. If they were nice, then what did that make Clarke? “I should go, I have Mr Blake and I need to get my history book.” and without waiting for a reply or looking to see a reply she left the classroom.

She made it back just in time for the bell to ring, and immediately felt comforted by being in a crowd again. Sure, she stood out because of her demeanor, and clothes. But again, the chances of being called out were significantly reduced.

Mr Blake’s classroom was set up very differently from Clarke’s. Rather than desks, there were tables. His classroom plainly encouraged either group work or group discussions. Her discomfort returned. 

Lexa preferred to work in isolation. It’s not that Lexa had social anxiety, or had issues with speaking up when required. She just preferred to remain isolated. Isolation and solitude were much better words. It was a choice to remain separated from other people. The word  _ alone _ implied an emotional absence of others, and Lexa never felt alone.

It seemed that seats weren’t assigned in this class either, and she chose an empty table hoping no matter how unlikely no one would pick her table to sit at. Her hopes were dashed as someone slid into the seat next to her. It was Costia and only Costia. Costia didn’t seem so bad. She offered the other brunette a small smile in greeting.

“Raven hates this class, and this is Anya’s free period. Personally I think it’s because they’d rather spend the morning making out with each other.” Costia shared.

Lexa was very rarely surprised to this extent. But she couldn’t stop her eyes from widening or her mouth from dropping. Sassy Brunette and Miss Badass? She couldn’t picture it. Costia gazed at her intently “That doesn’t bother you does it? That they’re together?” 

Lexa shook her head, and quickly tried to clarify “No, I was just surprised that  _ they _ were together. Not that they’re gay or bi.”

Relief was evident on Costia’s face, and she bit her lip. “What about you?”

“What about me?” Lexa asked.

“Are you bi, or lesbian?” She asked.

Lexa wasn’t entirely sure. She’s never dated. She didn’t feel uncomfortable thinking about it. Lexa simply disliked the fact she hadn’t spent time being certain about that part of herself. She never really thought of the male physique as being attractive. But she’s definitely looked and appreciated the feminine traits more.

“I like girls.” She said simply as Mr Blake began speaking. Turning to face him, she was ignorant to the shy smile curling on Costia’s face.

Mr Blake’s class was boring. She had no interest in watching Brad Pitt’s movie Troy. Why was such a movie even allowed to be part of the syllabus? It was  _ based _ upon true events. Meaning three quarters of it was dramatised crap and one quarter might actually be true if you were lucky.

The rest of the school day was a blur of complete boredom. At lunch she had managed to steal a study room for some much needed solitude that she spent reading in. It was only when Lexa Lexa was about half way home did she feel unusually hot. She realised she still had Clarke’s cardigan on. A pit formed in her stomach at the thought of having to face the woman alone again. The thought of returning it in front of other people though, was less preferable. She turned around.

When she reached Clarke’s classroom she found the woman leaning back on her chair, balancing on it’s two back legs with her feet on the desk. She was twirling a pencil in her hand, her head tilted back and her eyes on the ceiling with an uncharacteristic frown on her face.

She knocked on the door and opened it, startling the blonde so much she lost her balance and fell flat on her ass. Lexa stared at her as Clarke got up and smoothed out her shirt, apparently not embarrassed by her fall and faced her. “Welcome back Green-Eyes, what can I do for you this fine afternoon?” Lexa continued to stare.  _ How the hell was this woman a teacher?  _ “Ms Lexa Woods?” 

Lexa held out the blonde’s cardigan to her, and impulsively blurted out “Why do you call us Ms or Mr but make us call you Clarke? What’s your surname?”

The blonde grinned and gestured to one of the desks. “Sit, please. My surname is Griffin. Why do you think I insist on those things?” Lexa looked at her bewildered. If she had any idea she wouldn’t be asking? With the lack of an answer the blonde hummed, “Welcome to after school lessons on Communication 101.”

Lexa had no idea how to react to this woman. The teacher had a way of completely keeping her off balance. “Ms Lexa Woods,” Her mischievous smirk was back. “How do I make you feel?”

Wait. What?!

“I uh, I don’t know. You’re different?” Lexa said.

Blue eyes shined with unrestrained amusement, “Are you asking me or telling me?” The teacher didn’t wait for an answer, she dismissed her own question with a click of her tongue “It doesn’t matter. By addressing you as Ms Lexa Woods, and having you address me as Clarke, what  _ message _ do you think I’m working on to convey?”

_ That you’re unprofessional? _ Lexa thought. Well thought that she thought until the blonde tilted her head back in unrestrained laughter. “Yes, I guess you’re right. I’m unprofessional. Why do you think I let it be known that I call you Green-Eyes or Costia, Anya and Raven T.T.T?”

Lexa found herself growing frustrated. She had asked a question to get an answer. Not to be asked more questions and this woman was treating it like a game! She gritted her teeth, and just as suddenly she was left breathless as amused blue eyes turned serious. Clarke pulled out a piece of paper from her drawer and began writing, her raspy voice was filled with something Lexa was unable to identify, as she asked, “Lexa, did you not enjoy my class yesterday? Are there any suggestions or feedback you would like to give?”

Lexa shook her head and answered honestly “No.” The sound of the pencil scratched the paper. It occurred to her in that moment, it wasn’t that she really wanted an answer to the use of, or lack of use of titles when they addressed each other, but that she wanted to figure the other woman out.

After some time, Clarke let out a sigh and folded her paper in half and held it out for her to take. “After school class Communication 101 is over.” Lexa pocketed the paper and just as she was walking through the door, Clarke’s voice called to her, “Think about the message Lexa!” The door closed behind her and Lexa took off in a run.

She arrived home out of breath and headed directly to her room without acknowledging Indra who was laying on the couch. Lexa apparently had some sort of one on one lesson that left her more confused than from when she walked into the classroom.

She pulled out the paper from her pocket. Lexa had been wrong. Clarke hadn’t been writing. She had been drawing. She had drawn the upper portion of Lexa’s own face. Her expression guarded and watchful.

_ Communication 101. _

_ What message did she want to convey? _

_ How did she make her feel? _

_ Think about the message. _

It hit her like a Mac Truck, and a flare of anger burst inside her that Lexa had no option but to laugh out loud. When she finally calmed down. She pulled out her English notebook tearing out yesterday's assignment and restarted it with a vengeance. The teacher had given her the answer to her assignment.

If she were isolation. Then Clarke Griffin was invitation.


	3. Lessons on Manipulation

Clarke Griffin was twenty three years old and absolutely detested mornings. How envious she was of other people who possessed the ability to get out of bed and not require at least two cups of coffee and an hour before the world was coherent. It was her first year of teaching. Clarke loved her job. She loved the students, and she loved Arkadia Highschool. She just didn’t love having to be here at 7:30 every morning. 

She stood up from her classroom desk and flipped the white board to the right, so it showed the blackboard on the other side, and drew a vertical line in the middle. On the left half she began drawing a toy clown and colouring it in with the various colours available to her in chalk. On the right side she began drawing a small depiction of a stream with trees and flowers along the bank.

She glanced at her watch. Bellamy should be here any minute with his morning coffee delivery. He was sweet, even if he was a history nerd. Clarke was aware of the small crush he had on her, but she ignored it. She had no feelings for him, and even if she did he was off limits with being Octavia’s big brother.

As she was finishing the final touches to her illustrations she had the feeling of being watched, and looked towards the door. It was Lexa woods. She was standing next to Bellamy’s class room door that provided a perfect line of sight into this classroom. She dressed drabby as always, in a too big dark green shirt and some oversized jeans that must have been held in place with a belt that couldn’t be seen under the shirt.

Lexa Woods, she knew was a foster child. The school and all of her teachers had been made aware of her situation, so that the school was able to adapt to her if the girl had any adjustment needs the school needed to meet for her. 

Clarke was glad that the T.T.T seems to have zeroed in on her. Costia was a sweet, compassionate kid, and you couldn’t find a better friend than Raven for all her wit and cheekiness. If Lexa earned Anya’s respect and trust. Clarke knew that Anya would stay loyal to her until the end. She wondered if Lexa would let them in. She hoped so.

Lexa did not avert her eyes. She didn’t seem embarrassed or shy to be caught staring. Clarke tilted her lips in a small smile and arched an eyebrow at her. The girl’s jaw clenched in response, and her eyes hardened.

Clarke had no idea how to interpret Lexa Woods. There was an intelligence, self awareness and a maturity to the girl that few others her age had. Clarke assumed this was a result of being in the system. But she was so innocent and naive on the same hand. The blonde’s smile widened as she recalled how the teen had become so flustered after school and seemed to react almost impulsively and without thought when she was caught off guard.

Clarke’s final saving grace arrived at last as Bellamy blocked her sight of the girl when he came in with coffee. His eyes took in her illustrations on the blackboard. “Princess, I thought this was an English class, not an art class” 

She took the coffee from him and teasingly said “Bell, a good teacher uses all materials at their disposal. Otherwise I would have the same problem you do and have the kids snores fill the classroom.”

O’s brother scoffed and indignantly said “They don’t fall asleep!” 

Clarke laughed, “Mr Blake, I’ve considered changing my entire teaching method to make it non-verbal teaching so the students and I can wear earbuds to drown out the noise!”

A snort of amusement from the hallway was heard. Apparently Green-Eyes agreed with her. Bellamy gave her a friendly push. “This is my thanks for getting you coffee every morning?” 

“Yep, now go away. I need to finish prepping for class, and you need to start.” She said. 

Bellamy gave her an affectionate smile. “Clarke, sometimes I can’t tell if you’re an absolute genius or an adorable idiot.”

She gave him a winning smile, “I’m an adorable idiot of course. Now go! I need to finish.”

Clarke turned to her desk, and set up the portable bluetooth speaker. She really tried to go out of her way to make class interesting for the kids. She believed that engagement was the key to education. If a teacher could not relate or interact with their students then why would they be interested enough to pay attention and retain more information? Other than to apply for colleges that is? 

She dropped down into her chair and sipped on her coffee, a mocha. Clarke didn’t have long until the school bell rang. Right, time to get started. The students filed in and Clarke purposely waited for speculation surrounding the drawings to take place. Her eyes fell to Lexa whose eyes were already on her. Clarke also noted the brunette was sitting next to Raven.

Clapping her hands together in mock excitement to gather the students attention, Clarke addressed the room. “The English Language and Communication. That’s what we’ll be continuing with today.”

Clarke saw a hand raise already. She raised a brow to the person it belonged to. “Why are you wearing a Slipknot shirt? I didn’t think you knew who Slipknot was!” 

She beamed a smile towards him and winked, “Mr Jasper Jordan, that was a very good, but obvious observation.” and she referenced her question to Lexa at him “Why do you think I’m wearing a Slipknot shirt?” The boy shrugged.

Intentionally she gave the appearance of dismissing the topic. “Right, English and Communication -”

She was interrupted by a soft yet determined voice “- Because it’s the opposite of what’s expected of you. It draws our attention, and makes you appear less of an authority figure to subconsciously make us feel more comfortable around you. It’s the same reason we call you Clarke but you call us by a title or a nickname.”

Clarkes eyes immediately snapped to Lexa’s and she gave the girl the first genuine smile of the day. She knew the girl was sharp. “Absolutely correct Green-Eyes. Communication isn’t just wording. It’s a message sent and the message received through a number of ways.” She said summarising part of last lesson.

She raised her hand towards the picture of the clown she had drawn earlier. “How does this make you feel?” 

“Bored!” Informed Nia. “Well Ms Nia Queen, and what about this?” She pointed to the river scene.

“Still bored,” The student answered.

Clarke hummed, and then asked “Does that feeling change, if I do this?” She reached over to her phone to play the first minute of Slipknot’s - Prosthetics. 

Raven called out “Now it feels like that clown from the IT movie!” 

The blonde furrowed her brows, and set her mouth in a thin line. She folded her arms across her chest and snapped “You forgot to put your hand up Raven Reyes!” The class was so taken aback that complete silence overtook the room, everyone’s eyes she noted, but Lexa’s were wide and big.

Clarke chuckled, “Tone, and body language. They are also barriers to accurate interpretation of a message intended. Please pull out your books and start working on your assignment. There’s only two days left until it’s due. Remember. The different forms of communication and their barriers.”

After 15minutes Clarke circled around the desks, scanning what the students have done so far. She was pleased with herself and them to find that most of the students were well and truly on top of the assignment. The blonde glowed with pride when she reached Raven and Lexa. The green eyed brunette had discreetly given her papers to her indicating the completion of the assignment already.

Clarke let out an internal groan of relief when the double period was over. Sometimes expressing the energy and enthusiasm that she does can be exhausting. She found her usual study room empty and laid down on the bean bag and closed her eyes.

She was on the verge of falling asleep when the sound of the door made her snap her eyes open. She looked at the cause of her interruption and sat up. “Ms Green-Eyes. Looking to do some studying?”

The teen was adorably awkward. Clarke’s amusement at the girl returned when Lexa refused to meet her eyes and clutched her book in both hands. “No, I just wanted to find a quiet place to read.”  _ away from everyone _ didn’t need to be said.

Clarke moved to stand. “I’ll leave. I’m not sure I’m even allowed to nap in here. Enjoy your reading!” and she tossed a good natured wink.

“Wait,” Lexa said. Her green forest eyes were fixed on the desk and chair. “You can stay here? If you want..? We can share?”

Clarke felt her lips curl into a grin again as she repeated yesterday's question. “Are you telling me or asking me?”

The teens mouth opened and closed several times before she stuttered, “I just thought sleeping and reading were quiet activities, I won’t wake you.. Again. And you won’t disturb me.”

Clarke chuckled. She really was adorable. The blonde could tell even the act of asking her had caused the brunette’s nerves to fray. She took pity on the girl, and lowered herself back onto the bag. “Thank you Lexa.”

She closed her eyes, and pretended to sleep for the sake of the girls comfort.

Lexa left the room before she opened her eyes. Clarke got up, she had an EAP (Educational Adjustment Plan) meeting with Nia Queen’s parents and the principal, Marcus Kane. The girl was severely behind in her class.

The meeting turned out to be as she expected. She spent the next hour listening to the girls parents insist that it was her teaching that caused Nia to be so far behind. This was despite Marcus showing the statistics that Arkadia High’s average grades for her class have actually increased since Clarke’s employment. Clarke took it with a grain of salt. She knew some people’s minds were already made up before they even walked through the doors, and that nothing would convince them otherwise.

When school was over, Clarke had no desire to hang around. Yes, she loved being a teacher. But she didn’t think anyone but teachers themselves were actually aware of the hours required to be in the profession. She spent 6.5hours teaching, and in most afternoons she had faculty meetings, and that’s not including the time she spent at home designing lesson plans and grading the students or maintaining regular communication with the more engaging parents. She may only teach one class, but she taught different grades of that class. It wasn’t unusual for Clarke to pull off a minimum of 12hours work related in a day.

Walking out the school's front gates to her car, she saw that Octavia was already waiting for her and she smiled at her friend. They were off for some beers, and dinner. Just a small break from the usual routine.

Even though the bar they chose was a noisy environment and after spending the day around noisy teens, Octavia and Clarke didn’t need to talk. They appreciated each other's silent company without the need for words. They spent their time quietly sipping their beers and watching the other patrons. 

When they parted ways and Clarke made it home. She thought about her parents for the first time in a long time. She hasn’t spoken to her mother since her father passed away, and even before that their relationship was strained due to Clarke’s determination to be a teacher and not a doctor of some sort. The blonde tried not to think of her mother or her father because she couldn’t think of one without associating them with the other. But sometimes she wanted more than anything to pick up the phone and call Abby. She wondered briefly if a child’s need for their parents comfort ever disappeared.

Maybe one day her pride would allow her to interact with her mother again one day. Part of her hoped not. Part of her wanted it more than anything.


	4. Lessons in Appreciation

The first thing Lexa noticed when she rolled out of bed was a shiny new mountain bike propped up on its stand in front of her closet it also had a helmet hanging from the handle bars. She inspected it closer, it was mostly black with the occasional red or yellow streak across its body. It was 18 speed, with a bike lock already installed underneath the seat with the key hanging out of it. Lexa felt her gut twist, almost like butterflies. She moved the bike so she could access her clothes. 

The butterflies in her stomach increased when she observed all of her clothes had been removed and in their place were new ones. Lexa appreciated that Indra had gone out of her way to not choose any bright or stand out colours. Instead opting for darker colours. Nor were the style of clothes considered to be girly or fashionable. They seemed to be chosen for their comfort and practicality. Almost like Indra had instinctively known what Lexa would have chosen for herself. Lexa chose some athletic shorts and a dark red shirt. She noticed she had a new pair of running shoes too at the bottom of the closet.

Lexa made her way to the dining room. Indra wasn’t in her usual spot. Lexa found her on the couch sleeping. The woman must have been tired with work and her night time shopping spree. Lexa’s gut twisted again. She didn’t want to wake the woman. But she felt like she had to acknowledge the effort Indra had gone through. But what could she do that Indra couldn’t already do for herself?

She thought about it as she spread some cream cheese on a bagel and nibbled on it for breakfast. Perhaps it wasn’t about providing something for Indra. Maybe she could just do something for her. Lexa looked in the fridge and found some beef. She had an idea. Locating the slow cooker, she set it up next to the electric tea kettle. That way Indra couldn’t miss it.

She diced an onion, some carrots and potatoes, and then the beef. Lexa threw them all into the slow cooker followed with some green beans and peas. She added some mixed herbs, with rosemary and garlic with some water mixed with cornstarch and set the cooker on high. Lexa cleaned up the mess she made, and walked her bike out the door, locking the door behind her. 

Lexa was late for school, but this time she didn’t mind. She didn’t feel put on the spot, like all eyes were on her when she made her way to the gym. Ms Blake had her hair in a sleek high ponytail, wearing a tank top and leggings. Lexa briefly wondered how the woman and Clarke could be friends. She had an intense look to her and lacked any of the playfulness or friendliness that Clarke possessed.

“Come on Woods!” The teacher hollered, “Class isn’t going to last all day!”

No, Ms Blake was like the school drill sergeant Lexa decided as she jogged over to the class. She saw Costia, Anya and Raven doing some warm up stretches next to each other. “Damn girl, you’re not hiding anymore! You’re hot!” Raven exclaimed. Anya glared at Raven. Costia nodded in agreement and blushed. Lexa blushed too, but didn’t acknowledge the brunette’s statement, opting to say a simple “Good morning.” and began to mimic the stretches before Ms Blake called her out again.

Gym class consisted of jogging five laps around the gym and a game of indoor soccer. If Lexa had ever thought she might have liked something. She would have named this sport. It gave her a rush of exhilaration she’s never experienced before. A rush she wanted to experience more of. When the class was in the middle of their wind down stretches Ms Blake called her name loudly causing Lexa to snap her head towards the woman. Ms Blake curled her finger in a “come here” motion. Lexa obeyed.

“Woods,” The teacher said. Lexa tensed. Ms Blake could be intimidating. “Have you ever played competitive soccer before?”

Lexa shook her head.

“Would you like to?” Ms Blake questioned.

Lexa raised her eyes. Green met green. “I don’t know.”

The teacher continued “You appear to have a natural talent. The soccer season has already started, but you can still sign up and start training if you’re interested. The sign up and information sheet is outside of my office.” and with that Ms Blake turned and left the gym. 

If Lexa were isolation, and Clarke were invitation, then Ms Blake was definitely dictation.

Dazed by Ms Blake’s words she waved goodbye to the T.T.T and headed to the library for lunch. Did she want to play soccer? She think she enjoyed it. But that meant drawing attention to herself. No. She wouldn’t sign up. Maybe there was a sport she could sign up for that wasn’t school based. Yes, that was a more comforting option to consider.

She entered the study room, and it occurred to her she had thought of Anya, Raven and Costia as T.T.T. She sighed.  _ That woman! _

A very familiar chuckle was heard, “What woman?”

Lexa looked down at Clarke on the beanbag and bluntly said “You.”

The blonde arched a brow. “Me?”

She gritted her teeth. “Yes, you. I was thinking about Costia, Raven and Anya and I immediately thought T.T.T! That’s just rude.”

Clarke stared at her in bafflement before uncontrollable laughter erupted from her. Tears formed in her blue eyes as she delightfully got out “That’s brilliant!”

Lexa watched her not knowing how to react before she blurted out “I can’t tell if you’re really smart or an absolute idiot. How did you manage to become a teacher? You’re like a little big kid.”

The blonde apparently found this even more hilarious. “Green-Eyes!” She gasped, “Please, show me mercy!” She took a deep breath trying to settle herself.

Lexa sighed, and sat in the chair pulling out her book. She decided the woman was an idiot.

She was nearing the end of her chapter, when she heard the ruffle of the beanbag and Clarke’s voice said softly. “There’s more to life than what someone achieves at the end of it. More than just getting out of bed each morning. More than grades, college, and money, or work. When I die, I hope I can look back on my life and know I made the most of it. For myself and anyone I’ve shared it with. To know that I meant something to them and know they meant something to me. To make such a positive and long lasting difference in at least one life would be my ultimate achievement. It doesn’t matter who it is. A student, a partner, a family member or a friend. That would be my legacy. Appreciation of life.”

The sound of the door closed quietly. A thick lump formed in her throat and she felt a newfound respect for the woman. The bell rang. She had free period. She wandered around the school in a daze mulling over the teacher's words. She couldn’t understand why the words made her feel vulnerable and almost  _ sad _ . 

She thought about Indra and Costia and their quiet attempts to interact with her. She thought about Clarke and Raven and their boisterous behaviours that everyone seemed to like. She even thought about grouchy but steady Anya and Ms Blake who appeared to be such a teddy bears underneath their prickly exteriors. They had something that she couldn’t figure out. Something she was missing. Something Clarke’s words made her want almost desperately. 

For the first time in her life Lexa Woods felt  _ lonely _ .


	5. Lessons in Personalisation

Lexa fiddled with her spoon at the table. She knew that Indra’s eyes were on her. She could feel them. The woman cleared her throat to get her attention. Lexa obeyed the call, lifting her eyes to meet hers. She couldn’t make out what the gleam in Indra’s eyes represented. 

“Dinner was really good. I haven’t had someone cook for me in years. Thank you Lexa” Her carer said. Lexa shifted in her seat and looked down at the spoon she was fiddling with again. She typically didn’t like any sort of acknowledgement, it meant that the interactions were more directed  _ to _ her. Not  _ at _ her. She didn’t know how to respond to such interactions.

“Thank you for the clothes and the bike.” The teen deflected.

Indra's voice was naturally gruff. But her tone was patient as she said slowly, “You’re welcome Lexa. Do you like them?”

The truth be told, Lexa longed for the freedom her bike had the potential to provide to her. Instead of retreating to her room every day the brunette could picture herself riding with no destination in mind immersing herself in the world of an audiobook as she did so.

Lexa though, was not ready to acknowledge anything that personal. The olive branch she offered instead still required a lot of effort. “I love them.. Am I allowed to ride it? Outside of school? I mean.”

Both of Indra’s brows shot up, as if she were surprised. “Of course, this is not a prison Lexa. As long as you let me know when you’ll be back and answer your phone when you call you can always leave the house if you want.”

The teen stood up, this was already too intimate for her. “It’s time for school.” she bit her lip at the look in Indra’s eyes. Somehow Indra was smiling with her eyes and not with the placement of her lips or brows.

“Thank you for talking to me this morning Lexa. Have a good day.” Indra bidded her.

Lexa’s awkwardness returned, “You’re welcome. You have a good day? Sleep? Too?”

Lexa made her way to Clarke’s classroom, Raven was already there with a few of the other students. She took the empty seat next to her. “Mornin’, Lex. Assignment’s due today. Have you finished it?”

“Yes.” Lexa swallowed. “I mean yes, I already handed it in. I’m glad it’s Friday.” 

Raven flashed her a charming smile. “Wow, I think that’s the most you ever said to me. I almost thought you didn’t like us!”

The green eyed brunette considered how she was going to reply. Again, the concept of liking something still seemed foriegn to her. “You guys are nice.” and she tried for some humour for the first time “I’m socially awkward.” She cringed. That  _ was _ socially awkward.

The other brunette cocked a brow, and with a tilt of her lips in a manner that was so similar to Clarke’s she said, “You don’t say?”

Lexa opted to shrug, not knowing how to verbally react. Speaking of Clarke, “Clarke’s late.” She deflected.

If Raven replied, Lexa wasn’t listening. She was nervous. The blonde’s words the day before had awoken something in her, she wasn’t sure if she was ready to face the person who had spoken them.

She felt something poke her arm, and her eyes shot up to meet Ravens. “Yes?” She asked.

Raven seemed to be analysing her. “Costia likes you, you know?”

“Costia doesn’t know me.” She replied immediately.

Brown eyes hardened. “You don’t need to be an ass about it. If you don’t like her just say it nicely.”

It took a moment for Lexa to realise what Raven meant. She tried to clarify. “I’m sorry. I’m not good with dealing with feelings. I didn’t mean it as a dismissal. I meant that I didn’t know why she likes me. Because we only just met?”

“Oh boy,” Raven said with a roll of her eyes, “Cos has a lot of work with you.”

The green eyed teen frowned. Raven’s tone had been light. But her words indicated criticism. This was why Lexa preferred books and music over people. She chose not to reply.

The door opened and Clarke strode into the room and began talking. But Lexa didn’t hear any of her words. Lexa’s complete attention was on studying the woman in a new light, and for the first time Lexa took her in.  _ Really _ took her in. Despite the wide smile, and energy she was presenting the class with, and despite the bright colours she wore. For the first time Lexa didn’t see a little big kid. She didn’t see someone who was unscathed by life’s experiences, or who thought everything was a joke or fun and games.

She suddenly recognised the same shrewd gleam in the blonde’s eyes that Indra’s possessed. What Lexa had mistaken for as an immaturity and a carefree demeanor she now conceded was precision planning and purposeful. Literally speaking,  _ manipulative _ .

Manipulative - To describe the characteristic of influencing a viewpoint or emotion or behaviour, with the use of words, behaviour or actions. Lexa disagreed with the word’s association with negative intentions. 

Even though Lexa had only known everyone in this school for a single week. The T.T.T seemed genuine, it was for that reason she didn’t mind their company. And even though she knew that teacher’s were different in school than they were outside of school. She thought she had seen enough of Clarke to  _ know _ her. She had observed Clarke so intently she had convinced herself of who the woman really was. 

It was like a smack in the face to realise only after she had dismissed the blonde as an idiot and had decided she was only going to tolerate the woman, that she had seen the only true glimpse of who Clarke was as a person after her speech in the library.

She realised that it wasn’t Clarke who was childish, it was that she had already set a bar of expectation before she even walked into this classroom. But what the blonde had presented with was so very different from those expectations.

Lexa felt as if she had failed her English assignment. Not on paper. She was confident she aced that. Clarke had all but shoved the content of the assignment down her throat. But as a practical skill, there was no question of her failure. It was with these thoughts that Lexa realised that she was feeling guilt.

“Hey? Hello? Green-Eyes? Lexa?” The world came back into focus. She found the subject of her thoughts kneeling down on the other side of her desk so they were eye level with each other. Lexa had another  _ first time _ moment, Clarke was actually quite beautiful. She was having a lot of first times with the blonde that she was actually becoming annoyed with herself.

“I’m sorry, yes?” the teen acknowledged.

Lips tilted with that familiar playfulness that Lexa was now sure was part of a facade. “Class is over. Did you have a good daydream?”

She twisted her mouth to mimic what she hoped was that playful same tilt. “Yes, actually I did.”

The blonde laughed, “Green-Eyes. You have jokes!”

“Are you going for your nap?” Lexa asked in all seriousness, and she resisted the urge to fidget when Clarke’s blue eyes seemed to be calculating her question.

“No Lexa. I have other arrangements today.” The change in the tone the teacher used caused a stir inside of her.

Impulsively she asked, “What arrangements?”

“I have a much needed date with my mother.” It was strange the way Clarke had said it. Almost distractedly. It was just as strange the blonde used the term ‘mother’ over the word ‘mum’.

Lexa stood up. “Good luck” She swore she heard Clarke whisper “I’ll need it.” as she exited the classroom. 

The teen was a creature of habit. It was lunch, therefore she was going to the library. But as she passed the cafeteria she spotted the T.T.T. She changed her course of direction.

“Costia, Anya, Raven.” She acknowledged each of them as she sat down next to Costia.

Anya’s usual scowl was on her face, but she shoved a chocolate milk in her direction. “I don’t like it, and they already had theirs. Here.”

Lexa cocked a brow, “Thank you.”

“You’re unusually social today. Did aliens abduct you?” Raven asked and a second later she winced.

Costia gave one of her shy smiles. “Raven means that it’s nice that you want to join us.”

She forced herself to return the smile. If she didn’t want to join them she wouldn’t have. The act of smiling was not a natural behaviour for her. “I’m sorry if it seemed like I didn’t like you guys.” She acknowledged.

“Don’t apologise.” Anya said gruffly, “You’re awkward. We get it. We don’t care. It makes us like you more. You’re real unlike everyone else. Literally.”

Lexa's conclusion that Anya was a teddy bear underneath a prickly exterior was confirmed. Clarke and Anya were very similar. In that they hid themselves behind their demeanor. She wondered if Costia and Raven did the same. She looked at Raven as she busied herself building some sort of tower out of her salad and carrot sticks. Lexa was actually quite impressed at the creativity.

Costia’s face turned red as she handed her a piece of paper. “It’s my number. We’re hanging out on Sunday, it’s nothing special, they’re just coming over to my place. If you want to come, let me know.”

Lexa took it, “I’ll have to ask my-” She shifted and restarted her sentence, “I’ll have to ask Indra.”

“Indra?” Costia looked interested. Too interested for Lexa’s comfort.

She averted her gaze and observed the process of Raven’s construction before she answered, “The person I live with.” 

There were no follow up questions.


	6. Cracks

It was Sunday morning, and Lexa was restless. She spent Saturday determined to finish her book and had only left the room for bathroom breaks and dinner. She had already finished her homework for the week. She looked at her bike. She had no audiobooks but she did have the music on her phone, and Indra did say she could go out if she wanted. She better double check just in case. That would be the considerate thing to do.

She found Indra folding the laundry. Lexa didn’t say anything in greeting but instead picked up a shirt and silently helped the woman with the task. 

Lexa was on the fourth article of clothing or eyes focused on the clothes, when she opened her mouth and forced herself to start a conversation with her. “School is good. I made friends.”

The woman didn’t pause in the motions of her task. “Friends?”

Lexa wasn’t sure how to interpret the lilt in the word. She assumed that it meant the woman wanted her to elaborate. “Yes, I guess they’re friends. Costia Green, she’s shy. Anya Foresterr she’s a bit grouchy, but nice and Raven Reyes she think she’s funny.”

The teen felt Indra’s eyes on her as the woman asked, “Do you like them?”

Lexa shifted, she called them friends didn’t she? She chose to sit with them and not because they asked. She did it of her own accord. They didn’t ignore her, or speak down to her. “Yes, I like them.” She decided, and this time she didn’t feel as if it were a question. It was a certainty. She did like them.

She picked up a pair of shorts to fold, and blurted out “Raven called our English teacher a monkey. I called her an idiot.”

“What?” Indra asked in obvious surprise. “Your friend, Raven called the teacher a monkey and you called Raven an idiot for that?”

Lexa tried to clarify. “No, Raven called the teacher and the whole class a monkey, and I also called the teacher an idiot.”

The teen winced as Indra’s voice increased slightly in volume as she admonished “Lexa! I hope you and your friend had a good reason for that?”

Lexa shifted, she was beginning to regret opening her mouth. “Raven was giving examples of some of the rules of English. She said ‘the difference between geese and goose and your monkeys and you’re a monkey’. She didn’t get in trouble.”

Discomfort enveloped Lexa as Indra didn’t reply. Before she could think of a reason to give to leave, Indra finally asked “So it was in an educational context. Did you think it was funny or rude?”

The teen thought about it. “It was rude at the time. I think it’s funny now?”

“And this is the same teacher you called an idiot?” Indra’s follow up question was.

“Yes.” Lexa informed her.

“Do you think this teacher is an idiot?” The woman enquired.

Lexa thought about it. Her thoughts surrounding Clarke had been constantly changing from one end of the spectrum to the other all week. “I did then. At the time I mean. I don’t think so now.”

“Mmm.” Was the acknowledgement she received.

“She’s loud and jokes all the time. I didn’t think she was teaching us anything. But she did. I called her an idiot because I used her slang. She’s smart I think.” Lexa lamely finished her explanation.

“Does this teacher have a name Lexa? You told me your friends' names.” Indra questioned further.

Lexa didn’t hesitate, “Clarke Griffin.” She picked up the empty laundry basket to put it away. When she returned Indra was on the sofa chair, her dark eyes following the teens movement.

“Lexa,” Indra said. It was a command that Lexa obeyed by looking at her. “You’re smart too. Taking the time to know what’s going on around you and also trying to understand it too, is very smart. You just need to decide what to do with all that information you’re taking in.”

The woman’s words sent a cold chill down her back. Lexa felt bare, she almost felt understood. She didn’t want to talk anymore. “Can I go for a bike ride?” 

Her carer nodded, and having been given permission Lexa picked up her pile of folded clothes and put them away in her wardrobe. She placed her ear buds in and pressed play on the media app on her phone. As she pushed her bike through the living room she nodded towards Indra. Indra acknowledged it with a nod on her own.

If Lexa had imagined the potential enjoyment that riding her bike without a destination could provide, then the reality of doing it was beyond her ability to articulate. She felt peaceful with the wind in her face and music playing in her ears. She appreciated the smell of freshly cut grass or the scent of the flowers she rode by. Her eyes took in the vibrant colours of the world outside of the school walls and her bedroom. It caused her thoughts to quieten down. The brunette didn’t even have to spend the time to reason out how she felt about this. Lexa found something she loved unquestionably.

The brunette really had no idea how long she spent cruising around on her bike, nor did she actually know where she was but she could see it was late afternoon by the position of the sun. But she spotted a park and went to have a drink at its water fountain and to splash some water on her face. It was a good spot to rest. There was a pleasant breeze and it was mostly quiet. There were only a few pedestrians that appeared here and there walking their dogs and cars driving past seemed to be infrequent. Lexa wished she had brought a book.

Movement in the corner of her eye caught her attention over at an empty construction site across the road. She waited to see what it was. A figure appeared in long heavy duty clothes, with protective full fingered sports gloves and was wearing what looked to be a motorbike helmet, was riding a street bike over a concrete block that had fallen almost like it was a jump.

Lexa, grabbed her bike and walked closer to get a look. She was wrong. There were three people all dressed like that. The only differences were the colours each of the individuals wore. One was just sitting there on their bike watching the other two. 

Another was riding in a continuous circle doing a wheelie while occasionally spinning the bike's handlebars in a 360 rotation. She noticed this rider wore something similar to ski goggles over their helmet. 

The third was riding towards the block again and when they used it as a jump the person angled their bike horizontally in the air before straightening up and landing with a soft thud.

The stationary rider seemed to have spotted her. Because they waved to the other two riders, and called out. “We have a visitor.” Due to the helmet, the voice was muffled, it was familiar and it was male. The rider who had been using the concrete as a block came over. The other continued what they were doing. The riders in front of her both took off their helmets. 

“It’s Woods.” Ms Blake said as a greeting. Her face was red and sweaty, and her hair was in a low ponytail. Lexa was taken by surprise, not only by the fact it was Ms Woods but also because she had never seen the woman not look so stern before.

Her brother rolled his eyes, “I didn’t notice that Captain Obvious.”

“Mr and Ms Blake,” She acknowledged.

Ms Blake snorted, “We’re outside of school. Just call me O.”

“O, what about professionalism?” Mr Blake reminded her.

“Bell, shut up. We’re not in a professional setting and it’s not like we’re doing or saying anything that’s wrong or inappropriate. She can call me Ms at school and outside of school she can call me O. Besides, everyone calls Princess, Clarke.” Ms Blake said, dismissing her brother.

“Yeah, but that’s Clarke.” Mr Blake whined. His sister chose to ignore him.

Lexa really couldn’t understand what the big deal was about what she called them. Their arguing must be a sibling thing.

“Doing a bit of bike riding of your own huh? It’s a perfect day for it.” O said to her.

Lexa agreed. She felt that today was a good day. She saw Mr Blakes eyes watch the unknown rider. She followed his eyes to watch the rider too and replied. “Yes. I was just getting out of the house. What are you doing here?”

“As I said, perfect day for a bike ride.” O answered, it was almost surreal to hear the grumpy teacher sound… Well, not so grumpy. “We’re practicing. It’s our hobby.”

It seemed Mr Blake disagreed with this opinion, “You, mean it’s both of your hobbies. It’s not mine. You two just drag me here.” He snarked. The rider lowered their front wheel to the ground and rode out behind the partially built building out of Lexa’s sight.

The woman huffed, “If you didn’t want to be here you wouldn’t be.”

Lexa decided this most definitely must be a sibling thing as Mr Blake insisted “I don’t!”

The rider came back into view and rode towards them slowly.

“Please, you only come because she asks you too.” O stated to her brother.

About a meter away the rider stopped.

Lexa felt stupid. The conversation was over her head. She didn’t know what was being discussed or even understand why this was worth arguing about. The teen agreed with Ms Blake. If Mr Blake didn’t want to be here he wouldn’t be. He’s a grown man who can make his own choices.

That didn’t stop her from interrupting the two of them to ask “Who?”

The rider had removed their goggles, and was unbuckling their helmet. Lexa already knew who it was the moment she could see their eyes. “Clarke.”

The smile Clarke gave to her was different than the normal ones. Less exaggerated, and the typical playful look in her eyes was replaced by a more toned down genuine one. “Green-Eyes.” She greeted.

She watched the blonde eyes take her in and then take in her new bike she was still holding. 

“What are you doing here?” Lexa repeated her earlier question. She believed that Clarke would give a more informative answer than Ms Blake did.

The English teacher gestured to Ms Blake and herself and explained “We’re just goofing off. But we do BMX racing competitively to blow off steam. What we’re doing here is BMX freestyle.”

The teen really wasn’t sure how to handle this information. Not that she cared about their chosen hobby. It was just something she wouldn’t have imagined from the blonde. Ms Blake perhaps, but not Clarke. There was also the change in the blonde teachers entire demeanor that Lexa didn’t know how to react to. She understood the reasoning in that this wasn’t ‘Teacher Clarke’ but that didn’t make it any more comforting in terms how Lexa should be around her. 

She noted Clarke’s BMX bike had the number plate 319 on the handlebars attached by a couple of zipties. Ms Blake’s number plate was 167.  _ BMX Racing? _

“Yep,” Clarke responded, popping the ‘p’ sound and elaborated, “BMX racing. There are different clubs. Each club has their own track that their members train and race on, and every two months the town has a series, kind of like a competition and all the racers race on each of the different clubs tracks.” She continued to explain.

“Interesting.” Lexa replied. It was true. This really was interesting.

The younger brunette saw Clarke look at her and bite her lip. Like she was trying to think of something.

“Hey Princess, it’s starting to get late. We should get going.” Mr Blake said.

Without removing her eyes, Clarke dismissed him sounding distracted. “Go on without me. I’ll see you at school.”

“Don’t forget, we need to be there early. We have that meeting before school starts, remember?” Ms Blake’s tone was back to being familiarly stern. Lexa was actually comforted by it. The blonde waved her hand carelessly. They rode off.

Clarke still hadn’t removed her blue eyes from her. Lexa shifted her weight from foot to foot. The motion seemed to snap the blonde out of her reverie and she looked to the sky. “The Arkadia BMX club trains on Wednesday nights beginning at 6. We race on Saturday nights if you’re interested in checking it out. But those idiots are right. It’ll be nightfall in about half hour.” She said.

Lexa felt a buzz but said nothing. She waited for the blonde to indicate the next move.

“Where do you live Lexa?” She asked.

The teen gave her the address.

Clarke hummed. “Put on your helmet. Let’s go.” The brunette didn’t move and Clarke said, “That’s about a half hour ride. I’d rather get there before it gets too dark.”

Oh, the blonde had intended to ride home with her. She put on her helmet and watched Clarke manipulate the strap on her own helmet and then place her goggles so it sat over the viser. “Lead the way.” the teacher instructed.

When they approached Indra’s house Clarke was several meters behind her. Lexa rode into the gravel driveway, and stopped when there was no sound of a second pair of tyres on the gravel, as she turned to see where Clarke was, the blonde rode past her with a wave.

Lexa found the door unlocked, Indra was finishing her dinner. It looked like she had just gotten out of the shower and was dressed in her work uniform. The teen pushed her bike into her room and sat down to join her carer.

“Any later and I would have called to see where you were.” Indra said.

Lexa’s first thought was that she didn’t want her new found bike riding freedom to be revoked and asked quickly “Am I too late?”

“No, but any much later and you would have been. How was your outing?” Indra asked.

For another time this day the teen found herself answering with certainty as she said “It was good.”

Her carer stood up and took her plate to the sink rinsing it off. When she returned to the room there was a gentleness to her as she said “It must have been. You’re smiling. I have to go to work. There’s dinner in the microwave for you. I’ll see you in the morning.”

Lexa waved, and when Indra had shut the door behind her the brunette raised her hand to her face. Indra was right. She was smiling.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is like the 4th time I've written this chapter, while I couldn't sleep and it's 5am.  
> Please show mercy for any mistakes I made.


	7. Lessons in Excitement

The days blurred together for Clarke. So far the week had been incredibly busy for her. On Monday before Lexa’s and Raven’s double English period, she had a faculty meeting that she would have fallen asleep in, if it weren’t for Octavia digging the blunt end of a pencil into her side several times. There was one moment the blonde had actually felt the wetness on the side of her lip that was a sure sign she had been about to drool. She had been the epitome of the saying ‘ _The lights are on, but no one’s home’_.

She knew O didn’t have a teaching period. Her friend walked with her on the way to the classroom. Lexa was in her usual spot leaning next to Bellamy’s door, and the teacher near about tripped over her own feet if it hadn’t been for her reaching out for O to steady herself, when the teen gave a strained smile followed by a simple “Good morning Clarke, Ms Blake.” Her friend had obviously believed her clumsiness had been a part of her usual antics because the PE teacher had just rolled her eyes and muttered “Fool.” and Clarke didn’t bother to correct the assumption.

For Clarke, going into her teacher persona was a habit. There was no conscious thought to the wide smile and the teasing “Green-Eyes!” she gave the brunette teen after she had straightened up. It was a smooth transition as she gave her best exaggerated pout when she begged for her friend to do a coffee run for her. The blonde had been pleased to note that Lexa had evolved from not only just sitting awkwardly next to Raven, but the two had spent a few minutes talking to each other before Clarke addressed the classroom. 

Her lunch hour had been spent guiding the soon-to-be-primary-school-graduates around the school. She really appreciated that Arkcadia High and Arkcadia Primary School worked together to develop a program to assist in the transition from Primary to Secondary Education. She recalled how anxious her first day of High School had been. The change from a single classroom and a single teacher to multiples had been a bit confronting for her, and she had spent her non-teaching afternoon starting to mark the assignments that she had been putting off.

Tuesday had been much of the same. But she struggled to get into her usual groove for school. She had no reason for it. She had just woken up feeling out of sorts. Her unusual mood had been reflected in the tone of the classroom. The students had been restless and the atmosphere had been unusually subdued. Clarke had mentally kicked herself for it. Her mood was no fault of theirs, but she had continued to try despite not having any success.

But right now, Clarke thrummed with excitement. She had way too much excess energy that she needed to burn and the dirt track of the club was the best thing to do it. Her arms already gleamed from sweating lightly already. She was wearing her long BMX protective pants with steel cap sneakers and a grey athletics singlet. She saw no reason to wear her BMX protective shirt yet in this heat and had a duffle bag with her full helmet, goggles and said shirt slung over her shoulder as she leaned against her SUV with her bike next to her waiting for Octavia’s arrival.

It wasn’t Octavia though who captured her attention first. It was Lexa. The teen really did look better in the new clothes Indra had gotten her. Clarke observed that the brunette’s posture wasn’t as awkward or uncertain as it usually was, and her usually impassive expression showed a curiosity as she had gotten out of a car as she was dropped off in. The blonde waved her over and called “You made it!”

Lexa’s brilliant green eyes scrutinised her. Clarke didn’t think those green eyes missed much. For all of Lexa’s social inadequacies the blonde had a feeling that the teen was hyper aware of her surroundings. No, that’s wrong. The teen _is_ hyper aware of her surroundings. Her Communications paper had definitely indicated that.

“Clarke.” Lexa said in her usual greeting.

The blonde smiled at her, “I was waiting for Octavia. But we can go in, she can find us inside.”

“Octavia? That’s Ms Blake? O?” The brunette frowned at her own wording.

Clarke gripped the handlebars of her bike and began to lead them through the gates. “Yeah, sorry O is just her nickname. Sometimes I forget Octavia is her name.” She laughed.

“You been friends for long?” Lexa enquired.

Clarke hummed in confirmation “Since Primary School. She pushed a boy over who called me a baby. We’ve been friends ever since.”

The girl apparently had no response to that bit of sharing as Clarke stopped at one of the bleachers and placed her duffle bag down. The blonde unzipped it and pulled out her BMX shirt, when it was half way over her head Lexa asked “What are they doing?”

Pulling the shirt down properly Clarke looked at where the teen was gazing. There were several people with hoses sprinkling the track with water and she explained “They’re watering down the track so when we ride on it, it doesn’t turn into a dust storm.”

“Princess!” Octavia’s voice called her. She with the exception of her helmet the older brunette was fully decked out in her protective wear.

“Hi O, look who’s joining us today.” She greeted her friend back and gestured to Lexa.

Lexa though, didn’t seem to shrink back as she usually would. “Ms Blake.”

Octavia rolled her eyes, “I told you outside of school to call me O.” and then to Clarke she asked, “What’s the bet this weekend?”

Clarke laughed and smirked. They always bet who would win on the Saturday night race. “If I win, you gotta come into my class and tell me how awesome I am on the mornings you don’t have a teaching period.”

Her friend glared. “You’re on!” She agreed. “But If I win then I get to have your bike pegs.”

“What happened to your pegs?!” The blonde argued.

Octavia shrugged. “Ask Bell, he borrowed mine and I haven’t seen them since.”

“Ok, I win you grovel in front of the class this week to me. If you win, you keep my pegs.” Clarke summarised.

Octavia smirked and put on her helmet followed by her bike gloves. “I’ll be enjoying those pegs!” She called out riding out to the starting gate since the race track prep had finished.

“She’s not grouchy. She’s arrogant.” Lexa voiced.

Clarke turned to the teen and grinned. “She can be. She would argue that she’s serious and confident though.”

By Lexa’s reaction the blonde guessed that she hadn’t meant to say that out loud.

“Can you see her?” She asked the brunette.

“Yes.” came the simple answer.

“The jump with two humps is called a Doubles, the jump without any hump is called a Table Top. Three humps is called a Triples, The part where it has lots of little smaller humps is called a Rhythms section. Then that jump over there where the take off point is lower than the landing height are called Step Ups, and lastly the jump over there where the take off point is higher than the landing point is called a Step Down.” Clarke explained to her, indicating with her hand in the direction of the different aspects of the track.

She watched as green eyes observed Octavia go around the track with rapt attention. She longed to join her friend on the track.

“I’ll be back. I’m just going to do a couple of laps. You’ll be alright here?” She asked her.

Lexa’s lips twitched, but she nodded and offered no verbal response.

Clarke put her helmet on, feeling the thick pads press against the top of her head and the sides of her face firmly and did the straps up before putting on her gloves, she rode slowly to the top of the starting gate and decided to tease the teen a bit by looking over in her direction and tossing her a wave.

Lexa rotated her wrist in the most minute and lazy wave Clarke had ever seen from anyone. She snorted to herself in amusement before pushing off and going down the starting gate. That just seemed to be such a Lexa thing to do.

Already she felt exhilarated. Pedalling hard a couple of times to build up speed she felt her body automatically reposition itself over her bike as she jumped over the Doubles.

She allowed herself a second or two before pedalling again and just rode over the Table Top, and peddled faster so she could glide a Berm. God Clarke loved doing this. The rest of the world ceased to exist in these moments. 

She jumped the Step Up and adjusted her balance heading towards the The Triples, pedaling harder. She jumped, landing on the second hump and rolled over the third. The second berm was approaching. The blonde pedalled as fast as she could, stopping the action to smoothly turn. She turned her head to the side to be aware of other riders. She looked ahead and saw she hadn’t been aware she had auto-rode that last straight and was approaching the last one. A Step Down and a set of Rhythms. She rolled over the first hump of the rhythms before scootering (the act of wheeling over jumps) over two of them and jumping the last hump before she reached the end of the track.

She rode over to where Lexa was, and took her helmet off. The girl was absolutely entranced by the riders on the track. “You want to try?” She asked the teen.

Lexa’s eyes flew to hers, her disappointment apparent. “I don’t have a bike.”

“Who cares, I need to catch my breath. You can borrow my bike. I have some spare long clothes in the car that you can change into if you want, if you don’t mind my sweaty helmet.” Clarke encouraged her.

The brunette clearly wanted to try. She nodded. Clarke reached into her duffle bag and pulled out her keys holding them out to her. “They’re in a grey backpack in the backseat.”

Lexa just stared at the keys.

“Lexa, if there was anything you wanted to steal in my car. Then you obviously need it more than I do.” The blonde tried to distract her with a joke.

Wordlessly Green-Eyes took her keys and awkwardly made her way towards the car park. Clarke turned her attention back to the track and located O who decided she wanted to mix in a bit of Free Style as she did this circuit.

When Lexa returned, Clarke hid a smile at how small she appeared to be. The brunette wasn’t as curvy as she was, so her clothes looked huge on her. Not as huge as the clothes the blonde had first seen her in though.

Clarke took off her gloves, and held them and her helmet out to her. After Lexa had put them on, she got off her bike holding it for the teen to take. “Have fun. Trust your instincts. Your body knows what it’s doing.” 

Lexa took the bike headed towards the starting gate, with a muffled “Thank you.” Clarke took off her protective shirt, and found a spot on the ground to lie on and used her BMX shirt as a pillow and closed her eyes.

The blonde was awoken rudely by one of O’s shoes to her thigh and a “Get up slack ass. Everyone’s gone and they want to lock up.”

Clarke opened her eyes. Sure enough, everyone had left except O, her and Lexa. Wow. Lexa really did an attractive pair of eyes. But what really caught Clarke’s attention was the _life_ and the _excitement_ that was shining through them.

When she sat up, O said her goodbyes with a gruff “I’m going home. Later.”

Then there were two. “Is Indra coming to pick you up?” the blonde asked.

The teen shook her head. “She’s at work. She gave me cab money.”

They walked to the SUV, and Clarke mounted her bike on it’s rack. She unlocked the vehicle and said “Get in.”

Lexa slid into the passenger seat. The drive home was quiet. Neither had anything to say to each other. But Green-Eyes seemed alive. Any sign of her usual awkwardness was gone for the moment, there was no jaw clenching or fidgeting. It was quite a difference from school.

They pulled up to Lexa’s house, and the teen looked down at Clarke’s clothes she was still wearing.

“Keep them. Who knows. Maybe you’ll need them again.” Clarke said.

Lexa got out of the car and shut the door. The brunette hadn’t verbally said anything. She hadn't needed to. Her entire demeanor said everything.

Clarke went home.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Please forgive any inaccuracies. It's been a long time and I'm drawing from memory of 10+ years.


	8. Lessons in Confrontation

For the umpteenth time Lexa’s eyes darted to her carer as her knee continued to bounce up and down, she looked away. The teen had been repeating this motion sequence for a few minutes now. So far Indra has said nothing of it, but she was most certainly aware considering her own eyes would flick over to Lexa’s bobbing knee and then to Lexa’s face before moving back to her paper.

Lexa has learned enough of the woman now to know that the older woman was waiting until she was ready to share. Indra would not press Lexa’s comfort levels. Still, she was nervous. She’s never asked for anything this big before.

The teen broke the repetition to look at the clock on the wall. Time was running out if she wanted to be on time for school.

“I want to race.” She finally vomited out.

Indra’s expression didn’t change for a moment before one of her brows slowly began to arch. “I’m sorry?”

It was only after Lexa blurted out, “Why are you sorry? You haven’t done anything.” she realised how stupid that sounded, even to herself. She had reacted to the literal words again. Indra’s tone meant that she didn’t understand.

Indra didn’t say anything, her face was calm while she waited.

The teen took a breath to steady herself. “BMX racing. Where you dropped me off on Wednesday night. Can I join the club? Train and race? Please?”

An indescribable look crossed the woman's expression as she sighed, “Lexa.. I can’t. I just finished buying you new clothes and a mountain bike. I don’t have the money.”

Lexa felt overwhelmed, as if she were about to explode. BMX racing was not a request. It was a  _ need _ . She needed this. She knew Indra’s answer was fair and reasonable. But the answer made her feel an intense rawness that was beyond logic. Nor did the teen understand the level of intensity of what she was feeling.

“I have the clothes! Clarke gave them to me when she let me try!” Lexa was so unreasonably desperate.

Indra continued to study her, in that calm way of hers. So completely opposite to the intensity that was bubbling up inside of her. It almost made her angry at the woman to see just how calm she was in the face of her own desperation.

“Clarke?” Was all the woman said.

Lexa rushed to explain, “Yes. Clarke Griffin. -”

“- Clarke Griffin. Isn’t that the English teacher you said was an idiot?” Indra asked, interrupting in the same leveled voice.

“Yes. Well no, I don’t think she’s an idiot anymore. But yes, she’s that teacher.” she gritted out.

Indra looked at the clock before looking at Lexa again and she instructed, “Come. Get in the car, I’m taking you to school.”

And just like that, she was exhausted and she deflated. Defeated, Lexa stood up and did as her carer asked with Indra following behind her steady as always. The short drive to the school was silent and she stared out the window. The teen really did understand where Indra was coming from. Her feelings were not directed to the woman. Her feelings were directed at the situation. But still the feelings were there nonetheless.

Lexa was surprised when the older woman got out of the car and walked with her through the school’s gates. “Follow me.” Her carer led them to the front office and said to the administration worker “I would like to speak to Clarke Griffin.” and a few seconds later 

“Clarke Griffin please come to the Front Office. I repeat, Clarke Griffin.” squawked over the PA system.

The teen felt a hot curl in her stomach. It wasn’t the same curl when she saw her bike or clothes. No, this curl was an unpleasant feeling. 

After a few minutes, through the glass panels of the office, she saw Clarke approaching with her bright smile, she was talking animatedly with who Lexa thought was Jasper Jordan from class. Clarke playfully snatched his goggles off of his head, laughing and giving them to the boy before opening the door with the smile never leaving her face.

“Oh hey Green-Eyes!” the blonde greeted her as soon as she saw her.

Indra moved to stand in front of Clarke. “Clarke Griffin?”

The blonde teacher took a moment to take her carer, and morphed more into the Clarke, Lexa saw at the track as a more reserved smile took over her features. “Yes. Good morning. I’m Clarke Griffin.”

Lexa watched Indra scrutinise Clarke in much the same manner that she had on her first day. “Can we talk somewhere more private?”

“I’ll see what I can do, can you give me a few minutes please?” Her teacher answered.

With Indra’s nod, Clarke went behind the admin desk and down a short hall leading to the staff area.

Lexa was resigned. She didn’t know what she was resigned to. Whatever would happen she guessed. She realised that the curl she was feeling earlier was dread, and the longer Clarke took, the more intense it felt.

Eventually Clarke reappeared with Mr Blake, they were talking quietly to each other but the teen had managed to catch a phrase here and there like “-Yes, page 78” and “-don’t just have them copy.” Obviously Clarke had managed to arrange him to substitute her class.

When Mr Blake left, Clarke ushered them into a meeting room and gestured for them to sit down. Indra sat down, Lexa remained standing. “Would either of you like a coffee or a glass of water before we begin?” Both of them declined the offer.

“Lexa,” Indra said, and the teen looked at her. “You should go to class.”

No, Lexa didn’t want to go. She doesn’t know why she looked to Clarke, but she did. But the blonde said nothing. In fact, she wasn’t even looking in their direction. She had her head turned and was looking out the window. Clarke would not help her.

“Can I stay? Please?” She asked quietly.

Her carer studied her silently. This time Lexa did not shift her weight or fidget. She kept their eyes locked.

“Ok.” Her carer agreed.

With the permission given. The teen watched as the blonde turned back to both of them, and enquired “What can I do for you both this morning?”

The teens leg started to bounce again and she saw a red pen on the table that she reached over to grab and began to fiddle with it.

Indra’s voice filled the room, “Lexa said you gave her some clothes to race in the other night at a BMX track?”

“Mhmm, yes. That’s right. We were at the track together on Wednesday night. It looked like she really wanted to try it out. But it’s track policy to wear protective clothing.” The blonde confirmed.

“You provided the means for her to ride on the track?” The darker woman paraphrased her question.

Clarke met her carer’s steady look with an unflinching one of her own, and reconfirmed “Yes.”

Indra’s response was a single word. “Why?”

Blue eyes darted to her for the first time since they entered the room. Then back to Indra. Clarke bit her lip. She was obviously trying to buy time. Whatever the answer was, Clarke didn’t seem to think it was appropriate to say in front of her. 

Indra seemed to catch on to this too. “You can say it in front of Lexa. Answer honestly.”

“Because I thought it would be good for her. At school, I haven’t seen any signs of interest in any activities besides reading in a room by herself. Ms Blake acknowledged her talent for soccer and encouraged her to sign up for the team. She decided not to. While Lexa is beginning to form bonds with a couple of people, it’s something she struggles with and is uncomfortable doing even when she tries. She has the will. I was trying to provide her with the tools of her choice. I wanted to give her an opportunity to try something out that could potentially assist her with her confidence, her social and emotional interactions and extend her comfort levels with something that  _ she _ was interested in. And she showed  _ a lot _ of interest in BMX racing.” Clarke explained after some initial hesitation.

Lexa froze. She felt a mix of anger at the explanation but also that same nakedness that Indra made her feel.

The room was silent as Indra considered the words. Lexa looked at the pen she was fidgeting with. She decided it was a very nice red colour.

“Thank you for trying to help her, but I can’t afford it.” Indra repeated her earlier answer and she stood up, and continued “Thank you for your time Clarke Griffin.”

Lexa stood up too. She felt empty. She didn’t know what she expected.

“Wait!” Clarke called, Indra turned to her. “Please, sit back down.”

Both brunettes did as she asked and politely waited to see what the teacher wanted.

“If I can clear this with the higher ups.. Would you be opposed to Lexa working for it?” Clarke suggested. Lexa’s heart started to beat rapidly as she looked at Indra, mentally begging her. Indra said nothing, waiting for the teacher to elaborate.

“I have spare bike parts, enough so that she can build a decent bike of her own. It’s something she could learn to do. She can pay it off by helping maintain the track, or volunteer helping coach the younger kids. She could volunteer to commentate the mock races, we’re always looking for commentators. There’s no shortage of things she could do” Clarke insisted.

Indra’s expression didn’t change but her eyes went to Lexa. The teen knew she was contemplating the exchange.

“Ok.” The woman finally said. “But, I want this written up and I want a copy of it. What each hour is worth, what the bike is worth, and a schedule of when she should be doing her hours, times and dates etcetera. Also, if she’s going to do this, you’re responsible for her transport too. I’ll have to give it to Child Services for record. She won’t start until I have that.”

Clarke nodded her agreement and before Lexa even knew what she was doing she was hugging her carer. “Thank you!” Indra placed a hand on her arm and squeezed it gently.

When the teen let go, she saw Clarke writing down some notes. She assumed it was the aspects of the document that Indra listed. She wanted to say something to the blonde too. But she didn’t know what.

“Go to class Lexa. Have a good day.” Indra said to her.

“You too.” She replied as she went to do as she was told.

Lexa left the older two women there in the room. She didn’t even have enough time to make it to class before the lunch bell rang. She rediverted from her intended course, and headed to the cafeteria. The T.T.T was already there waiting for her.

“Hi Sexy!” Raven greeted, and received her usual punch in the arm from Anya who also seemed to be a creature of habit, because she thrust her chocolate milk to Lexa with a terse “Here.”

“Hi Lexa,” Costia acknowledged her.

“Hey guys.” Lexa greeted back.

Costia gave that small smile to her as she asked “We missed you in P.E today.”

Raven snorted, “Don’t worry about missing anything. Ms Blake was fired up today. It was like being in boot camp.”

Ms Blake was an interesting one. How can a person go from being so well, grumpy to being… _Sarcastic?_ _Dry_? What is the adjective that she’s looking for?

“Wakey wakey,” Raven said, poking her with a celery stick a couple of times.

“No vegetable construction today so you have to antatognise me?” the green eyed teen attempted to quip. The quip was an awkward fail, but not completely if the sly smirk from Anya meant anything.

Raven grumbled Clarke’s own words back to her “She’s got jokes now.”

“You just like to pick on her because if Anya’s not kissing you she’s punching you.” Costia said in Lexa’s defense.

“What’s this? A double date now?” Was Anya’s input that caused Raven to kiss her and cause both Costia and the awkward teen to blush.


	9. Lessons in Honesty

It was Saturday. Lexa still hadn’t gotten out of bed. Not because she had just woken up. She had been awake for hours. It was probably afternoon. Instead of going out there and getting breakfast the brunette had chosen to pull out and began to read Terry Goodkind’s - Stone of Tears. She knew she could only avoid exiting her room for so long. But still..

Rereading a book she’s already read was much more preferable than dealing with the unknown that was waiting out there.

She sighed to herself. The time counted down as the choice to stay in her room had dwindled because her bladder was beginning to lose its patience with her. She forced herself to get up. Indra’s eyes were already watching her as she poked her head out of the bedroom. They followed her as she slipped into the bathroom.

When she had finished her business and washed her hands, Lexa sat at her place at the table and peeled a banana for breakfast. The teen swore that her carer must have strategised her timing because Indra said the most curious thing to her when she had taken a bite. “For someone you thought was an idiot, that teacher of yours likes you.”

With a mouth full of banana, the most the teen could do was quirk her brow in what she hoped was an appropriate response. This was not how Lexa expected today’s conversation to start. Wordlessly the woman handed her phone to her to look at. When Lexa looked at the screen she saw it was an email, with a document attached called L.W Contract.doc.

Swallowing her mouthful, Lexa stated the obvious. “That’s fast.”

Indra nodded, and continued. “Look at the time it was sent.”

3:45am. That means Clarke must have been up all night working on this. 

Lexa opened the document, and the brunette was amazed by the detail that was put in. Every part, nut, bolt, reflectors, bike cables and even the tools like the shifter and pliers were listed and broken down and priced. Clarke had made sure to dot every i and to dash every t. Lexa was required to come in an hour early before training on Wednesdays and an hour early on Saturdays before races to assist in maintenance / watering down the track. She was also to go in on Mondays at 4:30pm to help teach early childhood kids to learn how to ride a bike or service the bikes at the track that needed it. Finally she was also required to maintain a minimum of a C+ for her grades.

In return Clarke would provide transport, supervision and guidance in Lexa’s assigned tasks, assisting her in homework if required, and assist in the process of building the bike, provide protective gear and meals for those periods of time if Lexa required it and this would be on-going until the end of the semester.

Lexa really had no idea how to react to this. If she were honest with herself she found it difficult to believe that Clarke could manage something so detailed. On the other, this wasn’t something just the teen was committed too. It was something the blonde teacher had committed herself as well. These were a lot for anyone to commit too. But she would do it, and with that. Lexa came to the conclusion that what she was feeling was  _ determination _ .

She scrolled down to the bottom to see that Clarke had already signed her signature, and so had Indra using her phone stylus pen. It was only her signature remaining. Lexa looked up at Indra, “You’re not mad at me?”

The woman’s mouth curved upwards in the smallest yet physical smile that teen had ever seen from her as Indra answered “No. I’m proud of you.”

Lexa couldn’t put into words the amount of confusion that caused in her. Indra was proud, but what did she do that was ‘good’?

Indra continued, “In your own way you fought for what you wanted. I didn’t say ‘no’ because I wanted to, and while it was partial luck and not done  _ all _ by yourself. You achieved your goal. Three weeks ago you never even would have asked me.”

Her carer handed Lexa the stylus pen and she instructed her “Sign it.”

The teen said nothing, she didn’t know what to say. The words ‘thank you’ felt too weak for what she wanted. Anything more seemed too intimate. Was it too intimate though? She had hugged the woman the day before. What the teen settled on instead was getting up and making Indra a cup of tea, and when she brought the tea to Indra she put a hand on her shoulder for a moment and signed the digital document.

“Now that you’ve signed it, go get ready. Clarke will be here to pick you up in 45minutes. She’s picking you up an hour early so you both can discuss expectations.” Indra informed her.

Lexa took a shower and changed into the long clothes that Clarke had given her. She wasn’t really sure what to think of her right now. Clarke had spoken about her to Indra as if she were a problem or a puzzle she needed to put together. The blonde had been factual and calculating in her verbal analysis to her. The teen felt angry at her.

But Clarke helped her. When Lexa had resigned herself, Clarke had fought for her and came up with a solution that worked for their household. The teen couldn’t see what the blonde could be getting out of this. Yet, she had done it anyway. 

She heard the sound of gravel shifting indicating the arrival of Clarke’s SUV. Lexa nodded at Indra on her way by. The woman nodded back. The car drive for Lexa felt uncomfortable. She hadn’t greeted the blonde back when Clarke had said hello and she pointedly looked out the window for the ride. It was as they were driving, Lexa’s anger turned to appreciation.

Lexa was full of questions when they pulled up at a beach rather than the track. But she remained silent as she followed the blonde's lead and got out of the car when she did and waited when Clarke reached into the backseat pulling out two sandwiches and two water bottles.

When the teacher had made sure Lexa was paying attention to her, she tossed one of each to the teen. Then walked over to the wooden fence line and resting against it and unwrapping her own sandwich and taking a mouthful.

Lexa looked out to the sea, and enjoyed the ocean breeze in her face. She wasn’t hungry and she didn’t know how she felt. She didn’t know what to think and she had many questions.

The teen turned to look at Clarke as the blonde ate. Clarke looked tired, she had bags under her eyes, and there were no signs of any sort of cheer on her face. Lexa remembered this feeling.  _ Guilt _ .

“Why?” She asked.

Clarke’s blue eyes looked at her seriously, and she swallowed her food. “Why what?”

“Why are you doing this?” Lexa elaborated. The blonde's serious blue eyes were beginning to unnerve her. She had not experienced a serious Clarke before until the meeting with Indra, and even then, that was directed to Indra.

Clarke turned her gaze to the sea, and her simple answer made the teen freeze. “Because it made you happy.”

The brunette tried to make sense of this as she blurted out, “That’s not what you told Indra.”

“What I said to Indra was true. But they were secondary reasons. It doesn’t make them any less true.” She said

Lexa didn’t reply. She had nothing to reply with. Facing the sea, she closed her eyes and focused on the feeling of the sea breeze on her face. She remembered how she once thought Clarke was manipulative and calculating. Now there was no question in her mind. But she was ok with that.

No. The blonde wasn’t manipulating. She was caring.

“In that movie Shrek, it said that people are like onions, they’re layered.” Lexa recalled.

Clarke hummed in acknowledgement.

The teen continued with her thought. “It was wrong. People are like diamonds, and show different sides when the light shines on them.” 

When Clarke placed her hand on her shoulder. Lexa didn’t feel uncomfortable. She wasn’t hyper aware of the touch. She liked it.

The blonde said gently “You’re a good person Lexa. Your problem isn’t confidence. It’s motivation, and all of your sides shine brightly.”

She felt those butterflies again.

“What’s your motivation?” She couldn’t help but ask. 

Her teacher was silent for a while, before she started to stretch. She broke the moment by saying “We should go, the races will start soon and I need to show you around. You need to eat that sandwich on the way.”

Clarke never answered her question. Clarke had never not answered a question before.

When they arrived at the track, and the blonde had given her a tour of things like the store room, utility shed, the tuck shop area, they set up at one of the bleachers.

“There won’t be any work for you this evening. Tonight your job is to listen to the commentator and learn the terminology.” Instructed the blonde.

Lexa didn’t care what her job was. She felt a thrill. This was all absolutely fascinating.

“I have to get changed, and warm up before the races begin. I’ll never hear the end of O’s ego if I let her beat me” Clarke smirked.

Lexa nodded, while she couldn’t tear her eyes away from the riders who were already on the track. She was comforted by the return of Clarke’s playfulness she had become used to by now.

The teen marveled at the racers as they stood on the pedals of their bikes at the starting gate. There were no signs of being unbalanced as they resumed their starting positions, their bikes on a downward angle. There appeared to be almost like a mini gate that their front wheels rested on to prevent them from rolling forward. Lexa had jumped in surprise as the gate slammed down flat on the ramp with a loud crashing sound as the racers took off.

It had been intimidating for Lexa when she had gone on the track on Wednesday, she had been clumsy. The teen hadn’t fallen off at any point, so she did consider that to be a positive thing. She hoped one day she would be good enough to fly over the jumps or have the balance to scooter over the rhythms that appeared so effortlessly to them.  _ Freedom _ was what came to mind as she tried to imagine herself doing those things.

Ms Blake did in fact beat Clarke. When the blonde sat down next to her breathing heavily she shrugged saying that races were 3 or 5 races depending on how they were going for time and their placement points would be added up at the end of the night so there was still time to redeem herself from this loss.

“Is it hard? Up there on the starting gate?” Lexa asked.

Clarke seemed to understand what she meant. “No, tomorrow I’ll pick you up at 10am and we’ll start to build your bike. But balancing for the gate will be the first thing we can practice once your bike is done.”

The P.A called for the next race, and the blonde put on her helmet and gloves. Her eyes went out of sight as the goggles were placed over them. 

“Good luck.” Lexa said quietly.

The blonde gave her a thumbs up and rode to the starting gate. The teen kept her eyes on the blonde as the teacher stood up on her pedals, getting into the starting position. The gate slammed down and they were off. 

Lexa made mental notes that there appeared to be different techniques involved. There were some jumps that the blonde got a lot of air in like the Step Ups, or the Step downs, then there were other jumps that it appeared as if Clarke barely made it over them like the Doubles or Triples. It was apparent to her that this was done intentionally. But when they entered the Rhythms section on the last straight, 

Clarke was on the inside of the track, close to the edge with Ms Blake right next to her. They both scootered over the same humps, and went to do one of those low jumps at the same time. There was a feeling in Lexa’s stomach that was very unpleasant and gave her an urge to go to her, when their bike bumped into each other in mid air, Ms Blake landed, but Clarke crashed to the ground.

She watched as Clarke didn’t attempt to stand up, but maneuvered her bike off the track as quickly as she could. She seemed to be avoiding movement of her lower body. Lexa was even more surprised as Ms Blake kept riding on and passed the finish line. Lexa wasn’t aware of herself as she began to jump the gate, but Ms Blake ran in front of her and ushered her back over the fence back to the bleachers before the brunette teacher herself went to the blonde who hadn't picked herself up off the ground.

Lexa felt angry at Ms Blake, even she could see when they were racing that Clarke had no room to move to put space between them. Ms Blake should have moved over.

The brunette teacher wrapped one of Clarke’s arms around her shoulder and wrapped her own arm around the blonde’s waist. The spectators began to applaud when Clarke was standing vertical. Clarke was also avoiding putting any weight on her left leg. Ms Blake helped the blonde hobble off the track. 

Lexa jumped the fence again, and grabbed Clarke’s bike pushing it around and to the bleachers she had been sitting at, and the teen waited. Her leg began to bounce, and she couldn’t remove her eyes from the tiny office room Clarke had gone into.  _ Concern _ . She was concerned about Clarke.

Ms Blake was approaching her. “Clarke asked if I could take you home.”

“I don’t want to go. Is she ok?” The teen demanded to know.

“Clarke will be fine. It seems to be a sprain, She has an icepack on it now. But she’ll be here a while.” The woman explained.

Lexa wanted to see for herself. “Can I see her?”

A nod of the head was all the permission she needed.

Inside the small office, she saw Clarke sitting on a couch with her left leg propped on a bag of ice that was on an office chair.

“Green-Eyes.” Clarke greeted. It was the same tone she used at school. Bright and cheerful.

Lexa stared at the propped up foot, and shifted her weight. “I was worried about you.”

“You should be more worried about me if you stay too long here and Indra finds out.” The blonde teased.

Lexa did not appreciate the implication or the joke itself. “You’ll be ok?”

“Of course, Ms Blake will take you home. Indra has given me your number. I’ll call you tomorrow about building your bike.” She said.

Lexa looked her in the eyes. “Not if you’re still hurt.”

“Go home Lexa.” The words were simple, but there was a soft feeling in them.

“Be careful?” Lexa had meant for it to be a statement. It came out as a question.

The woman gave a thumbs up and Lexa went outside and found Ms Blake at the Bleachers waiting for her “Let’s go.”

On the way home, she thought about the moment at the beach. Her thought from then repeated. Clarke never had answered her question.

**Author's Note:**

> Feedback is life for a writer!


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